what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
