We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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