you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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