therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
