HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
