You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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