Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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