guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
