TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
