I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
