The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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