we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He felt like a one man threesome
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
dude. I can hear the air.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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