Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
