it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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