yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
