So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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