She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
