question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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