now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
