Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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