He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
