I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
