What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
