the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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