if you like me you must not know who I am
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize