I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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