Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
