Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
