Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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