I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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