How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
