And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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