I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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