Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
