I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
last night I used snow as a chaser
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
