WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize