When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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