o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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