i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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