You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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