it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
someone owes me an orgasm
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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