it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
