dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
