does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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