dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize