I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
