ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
