How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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