its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
