found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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