i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
