I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
wow bdsm is so cute
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize