Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
