fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
