I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
