You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
