no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well I just put wine in my tea
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
