Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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