Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize